I don’t want a “sexy” house. How can a house be “sexy?” Sure I’ve had sex with a roof, but I was probably drunk. Would you use a realtor who calls a house “sexy?”

A lot of people, maybe one, search for my name by a misspelling.  My last name can be spelled in many different ways.  I only write this post so the future (one or two) people who search for me can find me even though they might be idiots who can’t spell my last name.  OK so here are the options.

Maggie Faris (correct spelling of my name)

Maggie Ferris

Maggie Farris

Maggie Feris

Maggie Fairs

Maggie Pharis

Maggie Faras

Maggie Farras

Maggie Ferras

Then I will post my bio, so you know I am the comedy funny maggie, not the one who stole the ring from his ex-fiance.

Maggie Faris Bio

Maggie Faris began performing comedy in 1999 in her hometown of St. Paul, Minnesota.  Almost instantly she was noted for her ceaselessly cheerful personality and seemingly endless series of quirky, intelligent jokes dissecting our fears and social barriers.

However, it was in 2004 that Maggie’s career began to really take off when she won the Women’s portion of the Twin Cities Laff-Off Competition.  Maggie proceeded to also win the five-minute Gender Showdown and thereby become the first woman in history to win the championship title – no small feat considering past competitors include Louie Anderson, Dave Mordal, Roseanne Barr, and Darlene Westgore (Nickleodeon’s Funniest Mom)

In 2004, Maggie won another comedy competition to become the Public Address Announcer for the St. Paul Saints professional baseball team.  She was thereafter featured on such television programs as ESPN’s Cold Pizza for her unique style and memorable announcements.

Since her move to New York in 2006, Maggie has only expanded her range. A favorite at clubs, Maggie received callbacks two years in a row to appear on NBC’s Last Comic Standing Showcase. She now regularly plays benefit shows such as her recent headlining appearance at Rainbow Mountain Resort and has had her off-stage comedy featured on Fox-TV, CNN, and FM107.  In 2008, she was named one of the Funniest Lesbians in America by Curve Magazine.  In 2009, she won both the “silver nail” award and “funniest clip of the year” at the prestigious Aspen Comedy Festival.

With lighthearted material that forces the audience to laugh at their insecurities and prejudices, Maggie Faris has become a favorite for a diverse audience of fans.  Whether you’re black or white, gay or straight, Maggie shows that we are all equally goofy human beings.

farts : fart : farting : poop : shit : crap : bathroom : pee : piss : gross : puke : toilet : ass : poo : nasty : stinky : smell : dump : Maggie : Faris …

seems about accurate.

this was another one… from

http://www.maggieferris.com/

Maggie Ferris, Give the ring back. Or do I have to sue?

Wonder whose ring i stole???